Anger is often an indication that we aren’t listening to ourselves about something important.
When I am feeling angry, it is my inner wisdom telling me that I need to pay attention to something in my life. When I slow down and ask myself a few questions, I usually realize that I have said “yes” when I meant “no” or I didn’t speak up about something important to me. Or, it may be more simple. Maybe I need more sleep, or I haven’t eaten enough. If it is that simple then what is keeping me from listening to myself and to my body? This is why anger is not always bad. It is a wise signal we need to pay attention to, if we listen, we will see there is wisdom in anger.
3 Keys to Master Anger
1. Slow Down
take a few breaths or a time out to get your self calm
2. Question
What did I say ‘yes’ to that I meant “no” to?
Is there a boundary I need to set?
Is there something I need to communicate, and to whom?
Is there something I want that I am not getting?
3. Communicate
When you are able communicate what you need, want and set a boundary when needed.
Listening
Anger is an indication that something in our lives needs our attention and when we stuff-down our anger we get more emotional and confused. Then, it looks and feels like moodiness and irritability.
When you start to get angry, the instinct can be to push down the anger, swallow it. I am not advocating to yell and scream at people or be violent. I am advocating that you start to pay close attention to what anger is telling you. Anger is a call to inner action and a time to slow down, take a breath and question.
In my therapy practice I teach clients practical body centered tools to manage anger and show you how to slow down ‘go inside’ and listen to yourself. If you are struggling with anger then something inside of you is signaling you to listen to your wise self about something, don’t ignore it.
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Eugene, OR 97401